No More Chances
by TooMuchPressure88
Summary: This is kind of an epilogue to the story "Of Secrets and Trust" Stan realizes the depth of his situation. Bad summary. You don't have to read Of Secrets and Trust, but it's highly recommended. Songfic to "Hurt" by Christina Aguilera.


Seems like it was yesterday that I saw your face

_You told me how proud you were, but I walked away_

_If only I knew what I knew today_

Gone. He was gone. Stan had known that the moment that he'd gone limp in his arms, but now it seemed final. Kyle Broflovski was not coming back. He wouldn't be waiting at the bus stop with him, Cartman, and Kenny. He wouldn't be calling to ask him if he was doing his homework. He wouldn't be coming to his house for Terrance and Phillip marathons. It was over. And Stan had ruined the last moments of his short life.

I would hold you in my arms

_I would take the pain away_

_Thank you for all you've done_

_Forgive all your mistakes_

_There's nothing I wouldn't do_

_To hear your voice again_

_Sometimes I want to call you_

_But I know you won't be there_

An argument. The best friendship in all of South Park- in the entire world had been ended in an argument. The last three words Kyle remembered from Stan. _"Fuck you, Jew." _The last words of their ever-lasting friendship. All because of a girl. Wendy Testaburger. A breakup he'd been waiting for, but never wanted to happen. And it wasn't even Kyle's fault. Hell, it may not have even been Cartman's fault. He should have confronted Wendy, not Kyle. Then Kyle would still be alive.

I'm sorry for blaming you

_For everything I just couldn't do_

_And I've hurt myself by hurting you_

He'd been living through the days. Just barely. He was on autopilot, walking and talking but not knowing what he where he was going or what he was saying. All he wanted was the one last chance to talk to his best friend. To tell him he'd never meant it. To take back ever argument, every painful memory. And keep all the good ones. He remembered the look in Kyle's eyes when he'd spoken. _"Fuck you. Fuck you, Jew." _The look had made him happy then, but now it stabbed through him like the glass had stabbed Kyle. Every memory, every thought, every word of Kyle hit him in the heart. He would never be the same again.

Some days I feel broke inside

_But I won't admit_

_Sometimes I just wanna hide_

_Cause it's you I miss_

_And it's so hard to say goodbye_

_When it comes to this_

More than anything, he just wanted a chance to say goodbye. He wanted Kyle to hear the last words he'd spoken, even though they'd been too late. "I love you too, Ky." But Kyle remembered him as the selfish bastard he'd been before he died. The one who cared more about his on and off relationship than his super best friend. What did Kyle think of him now?

Would you tell me I was wrong?

_Would you help me understand?_

_Are you looking down upon me?_

_Are you proud of who I am?_

_There's nothing I wouldn't do_

_To have just one more chance_

_To look into your eyes_

_And see you looking back_

He also remembered Kyle's last words to him. _"__Even if you hate me I still love you as a super best friend."_ So, Kyle didn't hate him. He'd always been too understanding. He should hate him. He'd said the worst thing he'd ever said. But he always saw the best in people, even Cartman. He needed to be understood right now.

If I had just one more day

_I would tell you how much that I've missed you since you've been away_

_It's dangerous_

_It's so out of line_

_To try to turn back time_

And now here he was, five days after Kyle's death, but it felt like a century. Because he couldn't see Kyle anymore. The thought suddenly hit him. There was no more Kyle. Never again. He said it over and over in his head, but couldn't get a grasp on what it meant. Never again would he look into his emerald eyes. Never again would he hear his high voice telling him a joke. Never again would he see him angrily try and tame his jewfro. Never again would there be a Kyle Broflovski.

I'm sorry for blaming you

_For everything I just couldn't do_

_And I've hurt myself by hurting you_

He put the beautiful flowers on the tombstone that read

_Here lies Kyle Broflovski_

_2001 – 2009_

_Hardworking student_

_Loving son_

_Caring friend_


End file.
